Damn You Toast, Damn You!
by Silver Scribes
Summary: Co-written with Rogue-Piper aka PiperWiccan. A teenage Phoebe and Piper switch bodies, a remedy for disaster. It sure doesn't help that they hate each other...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We own nothing, nadda, zip, squat....how else do you want us to say it?  
Summary: A teenage Phoebe and Piper switch bodies, a remedy for disaster. Doesn't help that they hate each other…

Authors: Piperwiccan and Vogue (Silver Scribes)

This story was originally posted on a charmed website but I thought that I should post it on here, so review and let us know what you think.

A/N; Okay this story is a joint effort so there are times when you'll notice the different writing styles but hopefully it flows. Most of the Piper parts are done by Piperwiccan (duh) and the Phoebe parts Vogue. Anyway we hope you like it and review! Peace. Vogue  
  
(P.S, my parts will be the good ones ! Piperwiccan.)  
(P.S.S Uh excuse me ? Oh I'm gonna kick ass ! Vogue.)

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**_"Alright, I know that it seems like she's being a little neurotic, but high school was hard for her. Really, really hard. You know, she was kind of like Jan Brady, the middle sister, not quite sure where she fits in." (Prue about Piper.)_ **

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"You're going to be late!"  
Three people groaned separately.  
Phoebe pulled her cover over her head.  
Prue hit her alarm trying to turn it off, in frustration she chucked it across the room.  
Piper lay in bed looking at ceiling, day dreaming.  
"You better get up now! Come on Girls!" Grams voice seemed to thunder into each room and shake them awake, Phoebe pulled the covers tighter round her and Prue slowly rolled out of bed.  
Piper lay still, still looking at ceiling. She really didn't want to go to school today. Sighing she rolled over but accidentally fell out of bed pulling some books which had been balanced precariously on her desk on top of her, they landed on her with a thud. "Ow ! Stupid books !" Groaning she got up and headed to the bathroom only to be cut off by Prue who slammed the door in her face.  
'Great.' She thought sarcastically, her eyes narrowing. She blew a strand of her flyaway hair out of her face and gruffly descended the stairs. She knew she was going to be late because Prue took forever and a day to get ready.

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Downstairs in the kitchen Piper poured herself a tall glass of orange juice and began the standard procedure of making toast for herself. She was so deep in thought about how she could avoid school, she didn't notice grams come in from the garden with some fresh herbs which she put on the counter. Grams cleared her throat and Piper jerked around, seeing it was only Grams she relaxed a little.  
"Piper. Glad to see you're up, I've got to go visit Maggie right now so you girls will have to walk to school today, okay? Love you honey, bye, " Grams didn't give Piper time to reply before she rushed out the front door. Piper folded her arms and frowned as grams voice came floating back, "And don't even think about not going to school!"  
She sighed loudly and took her toast which had just popped out of the toaster, buttering it she placed it on a plate and turned to go back up stairs when she bumped in to Prue.  
"Hey! You almost ruined my top! Oh breakfast thanks." Prue grabbed the toast and glass of orange juice out of Pipers hands and stuffed it in her mouth at record breaking speed, she then took a long sip of the orange juice. Piper stared at her opened mouthed.  
"That was nice, you should be a chef!" beamed Prue as she shoved the plate and empty glass back into Pipers hands.  
"It was toast Prue." Piper replied deadpan. Prue shrugged.  
"Whatever, I'm outta here"  
"W-what ? But Grams said we have to walk…" Prue cut Piper off with an icy stare.  
"Andy's taking me." She spoke in a condescending tone. She sighed haughtily and turning on her heel she left choosing to ignore the forlorn expression on Piper's face.

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A/N: First chapter. It may not be all that but it gets better. I hope.

Review


	2. Chapter 2

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Hi, thanks to you guys who reviewed (**HolyShadow, Barbas, Behind You)**, we appreciate it. Anyway here's the second chapter to 'damn you toast damn you'... hopefully you'll get the title now. Later. Vogue/  
  
How come you get to write the authors note ? Piperwiccan  
  
Cause I'm better than you ! Silver Scribes  
  
Ok fine, but hope you guys like it ! Pipperwiccan  
  
Are you done ? Silver Scribes  
  
Yes ! Piperwiccan

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_  
  
Phoebe rolled over in bed, she was hugging her pillow and dreaming of Josh. A boy in her class, the boy in her class, the one that every self respecting girl in school dreamed about. She smiled in delight well until she heard Piper's voice calling from the hallway.  
"Shut up!" She yelled back, her tone harsh. She was so not a morning person. Piper stood outside her room, she was already pissed off, she didn't need this crap from her little sister.  
"Fine!" She muttered, she stalked off to the bathroom to have shower.  
Phoebe couldn't get back to her dream so she sat up and rubbed her eyes.  
'What time is it anyway?' she wondered, while groping around for her digital clock, a past present from Prue. Its flashing face told it was 8:20 am. She placed it back and was about to go back to sleep when she sat up straight in bed.  
'8:20! Shit I'm going to late! Why didn't anybody get me up?'  
  
She jumped out of bed and raced towards the bathroom, she flung the bathroom door open.  
Piper was in the shower, she was in the middle of washing her hair. The soap had trickled down her face so her eyes were scrunched shut. She was singing along with the shower radio. She heard the door open and instinctively screamed.  
  
Phoebe stood in the doorway trying not to laugh but failing miserably. Piper grabbed the shower curtain and tried to wrap it round her.  
"Oh shut up Piper! We're both girls!" Grinning she started to brush her teeth.  
"Get out!" Piper called desperately, Phoebe just laughed. Piper slipped and fell forward, she hit her head on the corner of a shelf which held all their shampoo's and stuff.  
"Stop fooling around! I'm leaving okay? See I have my eyes shut." Phoebe walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her.  
"Owww. My head." Piper moaned. Today was definitely one of those days.

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Piper was downstairs now, she was dressed and had just finished making some more toast. She put some of what she thought was thyme on the toast as garnish. She turned round to get a glass when Phoebe came in.  
"Oh toast!"  
Piper turned round but too late, Phoebe had already grabbed it. She was about to bite it when she saw Piper's face.  
"Oh, owww." She grimaced in sympathy. Piper had a cut running through her right eyebrow and the whole right side of her face had gone Purple.  
"How'd you do that? Walk into the door? Awww Hun keep your chin up when you walk… actually just watch where you walk, k?" She smiled a quirky smile then bit into the toast, it tasted funny maybe from the herbs Piper had put on it.  
"That's my toast." Piper said quietly, looking down at the ground, hiding her face behind her hair.  
"Make some more." Shrugged Phoebe, having not noticed Pipers bad mood, even though she practically had thunder clouds floating above her head.  
Piper deciding enough was enough grabbed the toast out of Pheobe's hand.  
"Whoa." Pheobe whispered, "No need to be so possessive. God, it's toast." She shook her head at Piper who started to nibble the toast.  
Turning, she muttered under her breath, "Bitch."  
Piper looked up, she had heard Phoebe and in that moment she hated her. Phoebe was lucky and she didn't even realize it. She had everything, looks, big boobs, popularity and she never seemed to have a bad hair day. She had friends upon friends and so many people who would run around naked to make her look their way.  
She was better than Piper at practically everything, she had more friends, she had boys who wanted to go out with her, she was good at sport and all the teachers loved her.  
Piper could deal with that, she dealt with it all her life. Having sisters like Prue and Phoebe meant you had too. Prue was infuriatingly perfect, she was head cheer leader which naturally brought on the role of being the girl in every guys fantasy. Piper had nothing. And now Phoebe had to go and take her toast. She had had enough.  
"Back off Phoebe!" She shouted. Phoebe turned around bewildered, Piper never rose her voice.  
"You don't know how good you've got it do you? Every one loves you! Why? I don't see it you're just a selfish little brat! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Piper's face was red and she tried in vain to blink back tears that were threatening to fall down her bruised face.  
"Where the hell did that come from? I mean it went from toast to I hate you?" Phoebe said with an amused amazement apparent in her tone, it took a few minutes before the impact of Piper's words got to her.  
"You don't know what it's like being me!" They both shouted at the same time.  
  
Blue orbs flittered into the air and flew from Piper's body to Pheobe's and vice versa.  
Piper held her head. 'Whoa, I feel dizzy.' It took her a minute to adjust then she looked up. Piper, her, was standing in front her.  
'Huh? What the hell?' She looked down at her hands, gone were her long thin fingers and bitten nails, and instead were neatly manicured fingers. She put her hands up to her hair, only it wasn't her hair. She no longer had long dark brown hair but short light brown hair.  
She glanced down, 'Whoa ! Cleavage !' "Where'd those come from ?" She said aloud in wonder.  
"Hey! Get my hands off my chest!" It was Piper's voice but Phoebe who spoke. Piper in Phoebe's body looked up. She almost laughed when she saw herself, well her body. Phoebe in Piper was standing with her hands on her hips and a very, very, very pissed off expression on her face.

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Phoebe, well Phoebe in Piper's body stormed up the manor stairs. She had to get something else to wear to school, which she had grudgingly agreed to go to knowing that the penalty of bunking was death by Grams. She stepped into Piper's room and cringed, Cuddly toys littered the bed, the room was sickeningly clean, there were only a few items of clothes lying on the floor. There were neatly arranged posters of celery on the wall, a perfectly made bed and an immaculately arranged vanity table, not that there was much to arrange.  
"Jeez ! I knew Piper had a lot of time on her hands but…."  
Phoebe walked to her sister's closet and almost let out a shriek of disgust. Her hand covered her mouth as she looked over the clothes Piper had in her closet, it was disgraceful, shaking her head she decided that they couldn't be related, there was no way, Piper must have been adopted, end of story.  
Phoebe started to study Piper's body at all angles in the full length mirror, Which Piper had tried to hide by covering it up with clothes. 'Nice try Piper but you will have to look at yourself one day…' Piper was taller than Phoebe and her body felt awkward and gangly she turned to pick something up off the bed and tripped over her own feet and fell flat on her face. 'At least I know why Piper is so clumsy now.' She thought rubbing the side of her face which Piper had hurt earlier in the shower.  
Now Phoebe wished Piper's physique wasn't so different to hers or even Prue's because she desperately wanted to go to her beautifully designer closet. But not even rolls of toilet paper could make up for the difference between them. Phoebe couldn't see why Piper didn't try more, 'I mean okay she doesn't have the greatest body but she's not fat or anything' Phoebe thought as she picked up a multi coloured garment that closely resembled a skirt between her thumb and index finger, before scrunching her nose up and tossing it over her shoulder labelling it, "crap."  
She then began her twenty minute rampage through the God forsaken closet while not so quietly saying, "Awful, crap, puke, double crap!" and things of that nature.  
Finally she spotted it lying in a neatly folded bundle in the darkest corner of the closet, stuffed under some other clothes. Smiling Phoebe gathered the bundle and placed it carefully on top of the now cluttered bed. She looked at herself in the mirror, well Piper in the mirror and thought 'With my fashion expertise, I can make even Piper look cool.'

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Piper, Piper in Phoebe's body was down stairs biting her nails nervously. She stopped and looked at the now destroyed, once perfect nails. ' Ooops' she thought guiltily, she hid them behind her back and shivered. She looked down, well tried to it was kinda hard to with Phoebes chest in the way, but managed to see the low cut jeans and something that she wouldn't even begin to call a top. How did Phoebe survive wearing these clothes, she was freezing. 'I'm gonna go change, if Phoebe can make me wear whatever she wants then I can do the same to her.' She began to climb the stairs silently; if Phoebe caught her she would never let her change.  
  
Piper stepped gingerly into Pheobe's room, ' can anyone say slob?'  
Piper couldn't even make out the floor; there were mountains of unwashed socks and piles of clothes that Phoebe hadn't bothered putting into the wash basket, which meant nearly all of them. Stepping carefully Piper made the dangerous trek to the other side of the room where lay her greatest fear…Phoebe's closet. She took one last look at the messy room in which she stood, the bed was unmade and posters of hot guys covered almost every inch of the walls.  
Phoebe desk was cluttered with makeup, hair brushes and bottles of stuff that Piper didn't even know of.  
Taking a deep breathe she pulled opened Phoebe's closet. Things had been known to go missing in Phoebe's closet, in 8 years no one had actually made it to the back, it was so stuffed full of clothes it was amazing that Phoebe could actually close it.  
Piper was exhausted, her arms ached from trying pull the clothes apart, it was hard to find anything in Phoebes closet, eventually she settled on a plain yellow t shirt which clung slightly uncomfortably to her and some baggy jeans which she was sure Phoebe had meant to shred.  
  
Walking out quietly of Phoebe's room and shutting the door behind her she came face to face with Phoebe, well herself, no Phoebe in Pipers body. 'Okay now I'm confusing myself.'  
They both looked each other up and down. There eyes met. Piper rubbed her eyes. There was no way that was her, her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail bar a few strands that had been left to frame her face. Her torso was left bare, well it might as well have been as all that was covering it was a backless string top which showed a teasing amount of cleavage. A pair of too tight jean Capri pants which she had from last summer clung to her hips, these were the same pants she had gotten from Pheobe, thinking about it she had gotten that top from her as well.  
"You can't wear that !" They shouted simultaneously.  
Phoebe spoke first, "Piper I'm being serious now, you can not wear that to school." She spoke slowly as if Piper was dumb, Piper scratched her head slightly, why did people keep on doing that to her?  
Piper was angry, how come Phoebe could chose to wear what she wanted but she couldn't.  
"Oh and why not ?" She questioned, she tried raising her eyebrow but Phoebe had never mastered this and all she managed was to make both her eyebrows go up.  
"Because I have a reputation ! If you wear that, then, then my life will be over !" Phoebe cried out desperately, all her hard work to be popular would be destroyed from one lame outfit designed by Piper, who she was convinced by now was colour blind.  
"Well, what about my reputation ? Huh ?" Piper demanded, hand on hip. Phoebe had to stop herself from laughing out loud. Piper was surely delirious.  
"What reputation?!" Shouted Phoebe, a few moments later Phoebe realized that with those two little words she had destroyed Piper's world. There were tears forming in Piper's eyes, well Phoebe's eyes smudging her eye liner.  
"Whatever, I'd rather be a nobody than a slut !" retorted Piper, angrily brushing away the tears, she started to head down the stairs. " Come on we're going to be late." Phoebe stood still, Pipers words had stung her but she kept up her 'like I care what you think, bitch' façade.  
'Do people really think I'm a slut? Ah well that's their problem, they can hate all they want! Piper will soon see the envy that comes with being popular. ' With that last thought Phoebe headed down the stairs to Piper who was standing by the door

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_What did ya think ? Silver Scribes  
Who thinks Silver Scribes is bossy ? Piperwiccan  
Shut up ! Silver Scribes_

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Review?


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone…I have the next bit ! Yes…but it was not Silver Scribes who wrote it ! I know…she's lazy…but she has promised to do the next bit, so if it takes long you know why ! Well I hope ya like it… Thanks to **CharmedMilliE, Behind you, HollyShadow, PiperPhoebePaige and Barbas**  
(Hee hee, I get to do the authors notes now ! mahaaaaa ! That was meant to be evil…)

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They walked to school together in an uneasy silence, they both had said things they wished they hadn't. Before they reached the school, Phoebe stopped Piper. "We better swap bags." She said turning to Piper who was studying the cracks in the ground.  
"Uh, yeah." Piper had completely withdrawn into herself since Phoebes little outburst. "Okay, well what classes do you have ?" Piper didn't even look up.  
"Here's my timetable."  
"Okay, well here's mine, when we get to school just find Miranda and Harmony, all you have to do is say nothing. Say you have a sore throat or something. Do not do anything stupid, do not talk about books, if you have to talk say that you really like their top or something then ask where did they get from….that should keep them busy for the whole day. Okay ? Got it ?" Phoebe stared intently at Piper but she was still looking at the ground.  
"Hello ? Got it ?" Phoebe waved her hand in front of Piper.  
"Huh? Oh yeah, don't say anything."  
"Piper! I'm warning you! Do nothing to jeopardize my popularity!"  
"Like what? What do you expect me to do? See you don't even think I can be popular being you!"  
"Because you're not me! You are Piper! You are boring, you have no fashion sense, you draw on your jeans with magic marker!" Finished Phoebe completely exasperated.  
"Right, so what have I got to do to be you ?" She asked, not expecting much. Piper looked up her expression bitter,  
"Oh not much, just get tripped up by everybody, have signs stuck on your back, have nasty comments spat at you from evil cheerleaders, get pushed and shoved, laughed at, ignored, eat lunch on your own at the losers table, avoid eye contact with everybody, get locked in the toilets, picked last for sports and then get tripped up by people on your team, oh and get picked on by the teachers. Yeah I think that pretty much sums it up." She gave Phoebe a sarcastic smile, "That should be easy don't you think?"  
Phoebe was silent. Piper thought she had actually gotten through to her when,  
"Oh, wait I forgot, I have lots of exams to day, so do well." Phoebe grinned at her. Piper looked at her, there was no sympathy, not even a tiny speck .  
'Well, after today I'm sure she'll be sorry.' Thought Piper, but it gave her no joy, well maybe a little. They walked on for a bit until they were outside the school.  
"Okay, so you know what do ?" Phoebe questioned Piper, she could not let her ruin her reputation.  
"Yes." Replied Piper, sounding completely bored. "Okay, well…" Phoebe was cut short as she saw Josh coming up to them.  
"Oh God, oh God, oh God." She started to panic before she could anything to Piper he was right beside them.  
"Hey Phoebe."  
"Hey Josh." Said Phoebe flirtatiously, 'Oh no.' She realized, 'he thinks I'm Piper !'  
"Do I know you ?" He asked looking at Piper's form.  
"Uh, no…but you know Phoebe ! See I know Phoebe too." She smiled at him while trying to kick Piper who was daydreaming again. She managed to kick Piper hard on the shin.  
"Owww ! What the hell did you do that for ?" She asked rubbing her shin. She looked up and finally noticed Josh.  
Phoebe was glaring at her behind his back, mouthing the words. " Say Hi to him or I'll kill you once your back in your body !"  
"Hi, oh look at the time I gotta go. See ya !" Piper said these words so quickly that they were running into each other. Piper walked quickly up to Pheobe and they walked together in a huddle, "who's that?"  
"Josh, he's so hot," Pheobe squealed.  
"Josh?"  
"Yeah, J-O-S-H, Josh-"  
Josh grabbed Pheobe's arm, "Oh I was hoping I could walk you to home room." He said to her, a smile on his beautifully sculpted lips.  
"What do I do ? What do I do ?" She whispered desperately to Phoebe. 

"You say yes !" And with that Phoebe swung Piper around so that she ended up face to face with Josh, who put his arm round her waist. Piper turned round so that she could see Phoebe, mouthing desperately,  
" Help! What am I supposed to do ?"  
"Be nice to him !" Phoebe mouthed back, wishing for the hundredth time that morning that she was back in her own body.

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So did you like it ? Please let us know !_


	4. Chapter 4

A/N : This is the next instalment of 'damn you toast damn you', it has been a while since the last update and I apologise, but hey we got it out, so be happy ! Tell us what you think we always like comments.

Thank you to **PsychoKitty3, BehindYou, CharmedMilliE, LeoPiperAndyPrue, Barbas and Prue-Halliwell101**

Peace, Silver Scribes  
P.S. PiperWiccan I swear I will maim you if you write the authors note again, the last one was very, I repeat very bad!! PiperWiccan : What ? control freak cough

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Walking away from Phoebe, Piper being Piper did the only thing she could panicked, 'Okay what do I do ? What do I do ?'  
In her almost trance like state she completely tuned out the fine hunk of man walking next to her.

He stopped and sighed running a hand through his blonde spiky hair.  
"Phoebe- are you even listening to me? Phoebe?"  
Piper looked up at him, "Uh…um…I have a sore throat ?" She croaked trying to sound convincing, rubbing her neck for effect.  
"Want me to kiss it better ?"Josh whispered huskily drawing Phoebe's form close to him, he began to lean in, her eyes widening in fear she ducked out from under his arms and leant backwards.  
Over Josh's shoulder she saw Miranda and Harmony giggling behind their hands at them.  
Shrugging off the hurt look in his large blue glossy eyes, she smiled sweetly before saying, "Oh look, there's my friends, I have to go. Bye."

She jogged over to Miranda and Harmony and for the first time since she had met them that awful day she was glad to see them. Miranda and Harmony had always been at the very least bitches to her, dogging on her clothes and hair and well bitching about her.  
'Oh well, they think I'm Phoebe this time, bring it on 'dogs of hell'.  
Groaning inwardly she pulled Phoebes little bag higher up on her shoulder and prepared to meet her doom which were currently standing in the falls Gucci shoes.  
"Phoebe! Oh my god have you seen Carrie, I swear that girl should not be allowed to do her own shopping … and apparently neither should you like what are you wearing ?" Gasped Harmony.  
"Honey did you hit your head this morning? I told you about doing those workouts while reading 'vogue' total health hazard!" Miranda continued before the two girl burst into a fit of giggles like wild hyenas.  
"Hmmm, uh yeah." She flashed them a sarcastic smile but it was lost on them, they had never quite grasped the concept of sarcasm.They looked at her puzzled."It's a fashion statement." Piper offered praying they would buy it, she in fact quite liked the outfit she was currently sporting. They looked at her and cocked they're heads to one side studying her with their fashion hungry eyes.  
"Uh...It's a retro…old school-thing ?" Piper said quickly silently praying that they're brains were as dull as she thought.  
They looked at her and smiled. "Of course! Wow Phoebe you've always been so deep."  
"And you always look so good…how do you do it ?""Well…I guess I'm just Phoebe," Piper said a goofy smile on her face, her rendition of Pheobe.  
She looked to see if they had noticed that she was an impostor but their expressions were completely blank, 'Rather like their minds.' she thought with a lopsided grin.  
As the silence continued Piper glanced round nervously, "So…what did you do at the weekend ?" She asked hoping to divert their attention away from her as their blank stares we starting to creep her out.  
"The weekend ? Oh you'll never guess what I did !" Grinned Harmony.  
Piper looked at her expectantly, when nothing else was said,  
Piper tried, "Shopping ?"  
"Oh my God ! How did you know ?" Squealed Harmony, leaning towards Piper, a manic glint in her eye.  
'Uh okay...I'm very creeped out now' thought Piper as she stepped back a bit. "Mmm, just physic ?" She suggested nodding her head to enforce her point, 'How does Phoebe talk to these people ? Wait people…?' To Piper they seemed like life size Barbie dolls…just walking and talking…not walking in a straight line or talking sense but still walking and talking.'Uh' She shivered at the thought of having to talk to them all day. 'I'm going to die…'  
Harmony's babble cut through her thoughts, suddenly something she said jolted Piper back to reality and away from her daydreams of dying their hair orange and making them wear polka dot, which as Phoebe had told her was every girl's worst nightmare.  
"You what?" Piper asked appauled.Harmony stopped and looked at her incredulously. Miranda looked plain shocked.  
"Phoebe are you feeling okay ? You're acting kinda weird…and Phoebe…you're acting like your sister, not the cheerleader the other one, the dorky one !" Said Miranda, looking away from Piper as she spoke ashamed of having to tell her friend that.  
"Huh ? …Actually I have a sore throat…and w-w-why would you say that ? I'm not acting like Piper! It's me Phoebe!" Said Piper desperately trying to convince them.  
"It's just…I mean…first of all what your wearing…very cool…just not very Phoebe, and then you act all surprised when Harmony tells you about her little…experiment…you go all weird."  
"Well…that's cause well…uh…"  
"Yeah it's not something we should be talking about in the hallway but I mean it's not like you haven't done it !"  
"I have ? You mean that…Oh my God…"  
"Stop acting innocent Phoebe…you know you've done that…"  
Piper gulped, 'Okay I feel sick. I can't believe Phoebe never told me.'  
"You mean Ph…I mean… you mean I have… actually…done that? To a person? As in another person?"  
"Yeah. You sure you're alright ?"  
'Oh my god, I'm a slut, wait I mean Phoebe's a slut! Man am I confusing myself'

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Phoebe wasn't having a much better time herself, after Piper had left she had given up wishing to swap back and resigned her self to a day of being Piper, 'which shouldn't be too hard should it ?'  
Phoebe walked round the school grounds, she needed time to think about the seemingly helpless situation she was in, she had decided earlier that Piper could be a little late or a lot late for class.  
Her pensive state was interrupted by a long loud wolf whistle that bit through the warm spring air. she smiled to herself, even as Piper she was irresistible.

Her head shot to the area where the familiar sound came from, propped up against one of the school buildings was a group of boys. Phoebe smiled a seductive smile and sauntered over to the members of the opposite sex. Twirling her hair in her index finger she purred in a very un-Piper way, "Like what you see?" One of the bolder guys stepped forward who she recognised as Lance, in a very over-confident manner, she had given up on bad boys ages ago and moved on to better prospects, also known as the football team. So far she had gone out with 10 of them, 'not many left .' She thought sadly.

"Hey." He murmured, his eyes travelling up and down her, suddenly his eyes met hers and widened in recognition. "Piper ?" he said his mouth hanging open.  
"No, I mean, yeah it's me…". Phoebe grinned but her smile faltered when the boys burst out laughing. 'Huh ? I don't get it..' Pouting she walked away from the howls of laughter.She was pissed beyond belief, she couldn't even flirt in this God-forsaken body! Being Piper sucked.  
Rounding a corner of the red bricked building she smashed unceremoniously into another body and landed right on Piper's ass. Oh boy that was gonna hurt tomorrow…though hopefully by tomorrow she would be back in her one off designer body.  
Phoebe already pissed off hastily took the hand offered to her, the problem with being Piper was that she blushed easily and right then Phoebe could feel her cheeks blushing.  
Turning sharply she indignantly flipped her hair over her shoulder and was about to storm off when she heard a completely masculine and delectable voice say, "um excuse me, do you know where the main office is? I'm kinda new here."Phoebe froze in her high heeled shoes…she might be in Piper's body but her guy senses were still in check.  
'I hear buff-ness, I hear buff-ness, I hear buff-ness !' Her mind was going a hundred miles an hour as she began checking possible identification, she classed the voice as belonging to a tall dark handsome stranger, 'I've never been wrong before…' she thought as she turned around to see the anxious face of what she was convinced was a fallen angel.The guy who knocked into her earlier was an absolute babe. She had never seen someone with such a perfect bone structure or with eyes that flowed like the ocean, making it all too easy to drown in them. "Um, _do_ you know where the main office is?" the angel said his deep voice floating into her willing ears.  
Phoebe realizing she was gawking, collected herself and smirked, "course I do, come on beautiful I'll show you."  
Her mystery future-boyfriend blushed a rosy colour coming to his cheeks, "I'm Noah, nice to meet you…" he deliberately left the sentence open wanting to know her name.  
"Phoe - Piper, yea Piper," Phoebe finished grimacing at her slip up.  
Noah smiled, "Piper what a beautiful name."  
Phoebe's eyebrow quirked, "Really? Personally I've always preferred Phoebe."  
Phoebe began walking towards the main office followed by Noah who said, "Isn't there a Phoebe in this school?"  
Phoebe nodded flattered that he knew he she was, too bad she wasn't actually herself (A/N is this confusing anyone else?), "yea there is, wait a minute I thought you were new, how do you know about Phoebe?"  
"Oh come on who doesn't know about Free-be excuse me Phoebe Halliwell?" Phoebe stopped in her tracks and looked at Noah incredulously, "Free-be Halliwell? As in sister to me- Piper Halliwell?"

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Review? Please?


	5. Chapter 5

I won't offer any explanations or apologies for the shortness and over due-ness (?) of this chapter, just get it to you stat.

Rogue-Piper :Hey everyone! How are ya? Silver Scribes is kinda pissed at me as I did her Phoebe bit, BECAUSE she was taking so LONG, to do it ! So she has FINALLY done a tiny bit. Thanks to… **Behind You, ****LeoPiperAndyPrue****, CharmedMilliE, ****Charmed and Harry Potter Rox****, Barbas.**

Silver Scribes : Don't blame this on me, Miss thang ! I'll start on the next PHOEBE bit, you do the next Piper bit and then SEND IT TO ME before posting it. Otherwise I'll kill you, got it ?  
  
Rogue-Piper : You love me really.  
  
Silver Scribes : Bite me.

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Noah froze his eyes wide with fear.  
He stuttered his mind thinking of a way to backtrack, "I-uh- so you're Phoebe Halliwell's sister?" He asked stressing Phoebe's name.  
Piper's head nodded up and down but she did not turn to look at him. She began walking towards the main office, she'd just show him where it was and leave the stupid bastard.  
  
'Correction, beautiful stupid bastard,' she smiled at the thought. They walked to the office in silence, Phoebe refusing to look at Noah, while he trailed behind glancing at her every five seconds. As they reached the office she turned to leave but was stopped by a strong hand on her bare shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, that was really stupid and insensitive of me. I would love to make it up to you, take you out after school?" He asked hope shining in his big blue eyes. He nudged her chin up to meet his eyes and smiled at her, almost…seductively. She grudgingly looked into his hopeful orbs and had no choice but to accept. 'Damn him and his sexiness! Oh payback's gonna be a bitch!'  
"I'll pick you up at 5," he winked and with that he turned and waltzed into the reception. Phoebe tilted her head and stared after him, "What an ass!"  
  
_

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Silver Scribes : Now we'll see who is Me cough  
Rogue-Piper : Oh you are so....  
Silver Scribes : What ? Perfect ? Amazing ? The list goes on girl...  
Rogue-Piper : Yeah, I prefer comparing you to Phoebe, which says enough in its self...  
Silver Scribes : What are you trying to say ?  
Rogue-Piper : Maybe we should continue this elsewhere... (runs off..)  
Silver Scribes : Hey come back here ! You know I'm gonna kick ya ass !  
Silver Scribes : But please comment, just to back me up ? Come on, for me ? _


	6. Chapter 6

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Rogue-Piper : Thank you for reading this I really appreciate it!

Silver Scribes : You done sucking up ?

Rogue-Piper : Hey, I was only being nice ! (Raises hands defensively )

Silver Scribes : You're just trying to get them to say you're the best, aren't you ? come on admit it ! (Glares)

Rogue-Piper : Noooo, I don't need to be nice to them for them to say I'm the best ! (Runs...)

Silver Scribes : What is it with her with and running ? Lord knows I'm faster than her...Oh well, just read this and comment please ? Ok thanks, I'm off to kill her. Shouldn't be long. 

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'Exam'  
'Assessment'  
'Test'  
'Evaluation'  
The words floated around in Piper's mind, equations and formulas clogged up her ability to think. 'I hate math soooo much.' She whined to herself. It wasn't possible for a person to undergo so many tests in one single day and not have a mental breakdown. She stared at the chewed pencil that was gripped tightly in her hand, another one of her bad habits, so far she had ruined five of Phoebe's sickly pink pencils. 'Oh well I guess it'll give her another excuse to go shopping.' Piper marveled at Phoebe's ability to do that, come up with the weirdest excuses to go buy new stuff. Sighing Piper longingly stared at the clock, ticking absent mindedly, blissfully unaware of Pipers suffering. It hung on the wall a constant reminder of how much more time she had to spend in this hell, how her escape was so near yet so far. She looked around her, Harmony sat perched on the edge of her seat, smiling seductively at someone Piper vaguely recognized as being on the football team, 'Hmmmm, Phoebe must have dated him.'  
Miranda sat, checking her fingernails and admiring herself in a little compact mirror.

A loud shrill sound signaled the beginning of lunch, Piper's freedom. Grabbing the stuff on her desk she shoved it roughly in to Phoebe's designer bag and rushed out, leaving Harmony and Miranda behind, she couldn't handle having to listen to them talk anymore, it was like they had their own special and incredibly dim-witted language, the sound of their voices made her want to run.

She swiftly made her way down the corridor fearfully listening for the clatter of Gucci shoes. Leaning on a wall close to a row of lockers she let out a shuddering breath of relief.  
She debated whether or not to go to lunch, but the thought of berry lip gloss and volume mascara drove the thought away. A little shriek escaped her as she felt strong hands on her arms. Eyes wide she was met with the cheeky grin of J-O-S-H, as Phoebe had so simply put it.

"Hey Pheebs, where you heading with out your little, Phoebe-wannabes?"  
Piper rested a hand over her heart which was beating frantically. She was nervous, she hardly ever spoke to boys…especially not alone.  
"Oh, them. They had to….go to…the thing. Yeah, the thing which is ….far away ?" She grimaced up at him, to see what he thought of her more than lame excuse. Why did she always have to say stupid things ?  
"You ditched them didn't you ?" He laughed, cocking his head to one side, "Don't deny it."  
Piper watched his face wearily, he didn't seem angry at her so she guessed it was alright.  
"Well there's only so many times I can hear 'Totally' before my IQ starts to drop."  
"Totally," Josh nodded in agreement.  
Piper paused, 'was he being funny?' She scrunched her face in confusion.  
Seeing the look on her face he started to laugh, it was cute the way his eyes crinkled up and a warm sparkle came to his eyes when he laughed. The warm rumbling sound, made Piper feel at ease with Josh. She watched him run a hand through his luscious brown hair, her mind started to wander. 'Oh God, this can't be happening, Phoebe's body is infecting me with it's… gross thoughts…ewwww !"  
The two spoke for a while, Josh joking and Piper laughing.

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Review_


	7. Chapter 7

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It's been a while huh? Enjoy…  
...

Piper walked down the corridor eyes focused on the floor, she had just spent the last 20 minutes talking to Josh and she was getting scared of the thoughts that seemed to be floating round her mind. 'OK, I'm starting to think like Phoebe, this is so not good.' Piper was still looking at the ground when she collided with someone… she really needed to watch where she was going.

"Phoebe…. Where were you like we were looking all over for you !" Harmony's voice cut through piper and chilled her to the core.

"Like were you with Josh ? Were you ? Like were you ?" Now Miranda joined in, her voice chiming in discord with Harmony's.

'Ahhhhhhh! They're back, the evil Barbie dolls have returned. Must remain calm, must not run off, oh forget this.' Piper franticly looked between them for any way to escape their glazed eyes, 'Why don't they blink ? Why ? They're not normal.'

"Look, behind you….uh buff guy with Gucci ?"

"Gucci ? Where ?"

"Buff guy ! Buff guy !" As they turned to lunge on their prey Piper sped off in the opposite direction. She could not deal with manic Gucci grabbers right now. She needed to find Phoebe and fast… before they became each other, which was just too creepy to comprehend.

Phoebe meanwhile sat trapped in detention. How was she supposed to know that you had to pay attention in class ? Normally she just sat there and nodded, but in Piper's classes they seemed to expect her to know the answers to stuff ! Phoebe sighed, her forehead hitting the hardwood of her desk. Why the hell did Piper take these God-forsaken classes, advanced algebra? Calculus? And some other thing she couldn't even pronounce! She groggily thought back to earlier on in the day.

_She sat tapping her pencil in math class. Bored out of her mind she began doodling on Piper's folder.  
Mr Pavlou asked the class, he was the dullest man on this side of the earth, with the worst comb over to match. It flipped over in even a slight breeze._

"Piper," the class drawled out, pointing to her.

Mr Pavlou's gaze flicked over to her, "What's the answer?"

"uh…. 5?" Of course the answer had been wrong, they were in History. Yup the answer to who was Henry the eight was not 5.

Suddenly a loud noise interrupted Phoebe's thoughts, she looked up to see herself, well Piper tumble in to the class room. She looked round desperately for Phoebe who just sat there in shock. 'What the hell was Piper trying to do ?' Piper handed a note to the teacher, grabbed Phoebe by the arm and dragged her out into the corridor.

"Phoebe I can't handle this, I'm getting creepy thought about Josh !"

"Huh ?" Phoebe barely had time to register what Piper was saying she spoke in such a rush.

"And how come ya in detention !"

"What ?"

"And why don't your friends blink !" Piper finished out of breath. Phoebe just stared at her.

"I think we need to go get something to eat. Then…" Phoebe held up her hand to silence Piper who looked like she was going to start babbling again. "… We can talk about this calmly, ok ?" She nodded at Piper who gulped and nodded back. "Ok good. Thanks for getting me out of detention by the way." Piper stared at her.

That had to be one of the nicest thing Phoebe had ever said to her. 'Oh no, this can't be good.' Piper thought worried.

-

Thanks to all the wonderful reviewers from last time

****

Max

Shina

Barbas

Favorite Cousin Foreva


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